Pornhub-ocalypse: Texas

Pornhubocalypse: Texas

by Roger S. Martin

​So, you wake up in Texas, ready to start your day with the usual scroll through your favorite sites, but suddenly, Pornhub is nowhere to be found. Yep, you heard it right—Texas has shut down the digital pleasure palace.

Now, you're sitting there with your coffee in one hand and a very lukewarm webpage in the other, wondering what the heck just happened. That's all you'll see on the site: a letter in black and white where sexy adventurers and acrobats would otherwise be. God bless their souls.

So, let's break this down.

The only content on Pornhub today. Dear God, where'd all the goodies go?!

Our elected officials decided we need some kind of ID check before we can enter the virtual funhouse. The idea is to keep the kids out, but seriously, who wants to flash their ID every time they want a little online entertainment? It's like pressing the rewind button and ending up in the 80s having to show your face entering the "adult" section at the local video rental store. Pornhub isn’t having it.

They say this ID check plan is just a big mess. It’s not only stepping on our rights, but it’s also totally ineffective. Who’s gonna bother with an ID check every time? It's like making people show their ID for a bag of chips.

Here’s the deal: by shutting down Pornhub, Texas might be causing more problems than they’re solving. When you take away something people want, they’ll just find another way to get their satisfaction. If you ask me, that's just asking for trouble. Denying access to Pornhub might just ramp up tensions among the masses, too. People need a way to blow off steam, and without it, things can get pretty heated and not in a sexy way. 

Think about it—when folks have an outlet for their frustrations, like, say, a little private time with Pornhub all-stars, it can actually help keep the peace. It’s like a pressure valve for society, letting people release their stress before it builds up and spills over into social or political unrest.

Pornhub suggests a better solution: device-based age verification. This way, only the adults get in, and it’s way easier than digging out your ID every time you want to watch something spicy.

So, there you have it. The Pornhubocalypse is here in Texas, but all hope isn’t lost. Let’s hope our lawmakers get it together and realize that shutting down the site is just gonna stir up more trouble.

Give the people their outlet, and maybe we can all "Pornhub and chill" a bit. In the meantime, we’ll have to find other ways to keep...ahem, entertained.

If you want to go read the full Pornhub letter, Click Here.

Oh, and -- Don't Mess With (our porn), Texas!

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Roger S. Martin is a concerned Texan and a citizen reporter. Basically, I write stuff online and 'preciate anybody who'll publish my kooky compositions.

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